At the Crossroads
by ozmagirl03
Summary: *Story Completed* 1009 apologies for being so truant! Forgive me? Adam meets a new girl, la de da, and starts having doubts about his hockey playing future.
1. "Mystery Girl"

At the Crossroads  
  
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own the original Ducks, all props go to Disney and Steven Brill-I'm not making any money, etc, etc. Amy Morgan, Adam's brother, Nathan, these such original characters are mine.  
  
  
  
Chapter 1 "Mystery Girl"  
  
  
  
Just a small catch up. It's about three years after the events of D3. The Ducks are all seniors at the Eden Hall Academy, and make up the Varsity hockey team. Dean Portman stuck around, even though he wasn't a big fan of Coach Orion's 'B' average rule. Greg Goldberg got comfortable in his position as a defenseman, though sometimes he returns to between the pipes, just to mix things up a bit. He doesn't get a chance very often, because Julie Gaffney is still the starting goalie. Charlie Conway still dates Linda the activist, but their relationship is often rocky. She is easily offended and he developed a quick temper and an even quicker mouth. Connie Moreau and Guy Germaine are much in the same boat, floating in Lake On- again-Off-again. It changes so often, it's a hassle for anyone to keep up.  
  
  
  
Though this story concerns all the Ducks, it mainly centers on Adam Banks, who has finally passed his "awkward stage." His body finally caught up with his legs, and he's developed into a handsome young man. The story begins at a freshmen game where the Eden Hall junior varsity Ducks were playing the Blake Freshmen Bears. Adam was sitting up in the stands with Les Averman, Julie, Goldberg, and Ken Wu.  
  
"Banks," Averman called. "Yo, Banksie, you there?"  
  
Adam's head snapped around to face Averman. "Sorry. What did you say?" he asked sheepishly.  
  
"Nothing big. I just asked if you caught the dive Blake number fifty- one just took. Obviously, you didn't," Averman joked. "What, or who, were you looking at?"  
  
'No point in hiding,' Adam thought to himself. "That girl over there," he said, pointing to a girl sitting about five or six rows above the Eden Hall bench. "She looks familiar, but I can't place her. Do you know who she is?"  
  
"No clue." Averman stopped to think back for a second. "But I'm with you on the familiarity thing. I think she's come to some of our games too."  
  
"Who are we looking at?" Julie asked.  
  
Before Adam could say anything, Averman interjected with, "Banks' mystery girl. You know her?"  
  
Julie squinted, but just shook her head. "She's familiar, but I can't say I've met her."  
  
Adam asked Ken and Goldberg about the girl. Both said they'd seen her before, but neither could come up with a positive ID. The rest of the group gave up and focused back on the game, but Adam continued to stare in the direction of the mystery girl. 'She's beautiful,' he thought. She must have been a big hockey fan. She was often on her feet, cheering along the Eden Hall Freshmen.  
  
"And that's the game. The Eden Hall Freshmen win it, 7-5, against the Blake Freshmen Bears. This makes for an excellent start to the Freshmen Ducks season. Don't forget the Varsity home game, this Friday against the Dickson Eagles."  
  
"That was a good practice guys," Coach Orion said as the Ducks piled into the locker room. "You worked hard out there. Thank you. You're going to be ready for the game this Friday."  
  
"Hey Banks," Averman called, "did you ever find out who that girl is?"  
  
Regretfully, Adam shook his head. "No. I'm beginning to think that I imagined her."  
  
"What girl?" Charlie asked. He had been out with Linda, and hadn't made it to the JV game.  
  
"Oh, just some girl I saw at the JV game last night," Adam said, trying to pass it off as nothing. "She looks familiar, but I can't figure out who she is."  
  
"Point her out to me next time you see her," Charlie said, pulling off his pads. "Maybe I can help you out."  
  
Adam's reply was drowned out when he pulled his practice jersey over his head. Just as he was about to repeat himself, Coach Orion poked his head back into the locker room.  
  
"Banks," his voice boomed. "I need to see you for a minute." He motioned out into the hallway, and Adam followed him through the door.  
  
"What is it coach?" Adam asked a bit anxious about the reply. There was little that Coach Orion wouldn't say in front of the rest of the team.  
  
"I wanted to tell you before the others. It concerns you more." Orion paused for moment, trying to say what he had to say. "I've had scouts breathing down my neck for weeks. They're going to start coming to some of our games now." He paused again, for breath, or courage, or both. "They're coming mainly to see you."  
  
Adam let the news sink in. Scouts. He hated scouts. They made him so nervous. "Thanks for telling me, Coach."  
  
"I know how you feel about scouts, Banks," Orion said. "I just wanted to give you every opportunity to be prepared for them."  
  
When Adam reentered the locker room, the others caught sight of his troubled face. "What's wrong Banks?" Connie asked.  
  
"Yeah," Dwayne Robertson piped in. "What'd Coach tell you?"  
  
Adam looked at them both in turn. He wanted to confide in them, but something told him to wait. "Nothing really important," he said, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
"Are you sure?" Connie asked.  
  
Adam mumbled a positive reply, but he changed out of his uniform quickly and left without saying much more than good-bye. He immediately headed straight back to his dorm. His mind was so clouded by thinking of the scouts that he didn't notice passing his mystery girl on the way.  
  
The first period of the Varsity games was almost over, and Adam was about ready to tear his hair out. The ducks were leading the game 1-0, but he hadn't been playing very well at all. He kept worrying about the scouts and couldn't keep his mind on the game. With only a few minutes left in the period. Adam changed up and plunked down on the bench, avoided the worried glances of his teammates.  
  
Coach Orion walked behind him and whispered, "Don't let them bother you. Just play your best."  
  
Averman chose to ignore his friend's playing problems and instead pointed up into the stands. "Hey Banks," he said, "isn't that your mystery girl?"  
  
Adam's head snapped around and followed Averman's pointing. It led him straight to the sight of the girl. She seemed to be sitting by herself, and was cheering on the team. Before Adam knew the difference, the bell rang to end the period. All the Ducks gathered around the bench. Adam searched Charlie out of the Ducks that were on the ice and motioned him over.  
  
"What is it Banks?" Charlie asked.  
  
"The girl," Adam said. "She's here."  
  
"Where?"  
  
Adam showed him, and Charlie whistled his approval.  
  
"Do you know her?" Adam sounded almost desperate. He had to know who she was.  
  
"Not a clue, man. Sorry."  
  
When the second period started, Adam played with renewed energy and determination. He forgot all about the scouts. The girl occupied his thoughts now.  
  
In the course of the second period, Adam shot two goals and had two assists. By the end of the game, he was the leading scorer, and had helped the Ducks win 8-3.  
  
"Good work, Adam," Coach Orion said, patting him on the back. "I don't know what you did, but keep doing it." He was about to walk away, but Adam stopped him.  
  
"Coach," he said. "Do you know who on Earth that girl is?" Adam pointed up into the thinning crowd. She was still there, talking to Dean Buckley.  
  
A sly smile crossed Orion's face. "Her? Yeah, I know her." He waited for Adam to look exasperated before he continued. "Her name is Amy Morgan. She's sort of the patron saint of Eden Hall hockey. Her brother was on Varsity several years ago. One of the best players I've ever seen. Even though he graduated, she still comes to almost every home game."  
  
'That's why she's familiar,' Adam thought. Finally, he had a name to go with her face. Amy. It fit her well.  
  
"Do you want me to introduce you?" Adam's eyes popped wide open with interest, and Orion smiled widely again. "Go change quickly and meet me back out here."  
  
Adam rushed on to the locker room. When he stepped through the door he was greeted with half a dozen of so "Good game, Banks," or "Way to play it, Banks." Adam hardly heard them. He flew through his clean up and rushed back into the arena. Coach Orion was sitting with Amy.  
  
"Here he is," Orion said, standing up. "Amy, this is Adam Banks. Adam, Amy Morgan."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Adam," Amy said, shaking Adam's hand. "That was some amazing playing out there."  
  
"Thanks," he replied. He was staring, and he knew it, but he couldn't help it. She was even more stunning up close. She was medium height, but had a slender build that made her look almost delicate. She carried herself with confidence though, that kept her from looking like a fragile china doll. She had deep, dark brown eyes, and long, straight brown hair to match. She had a great smile too, Adam noticed, that really brightened up her thin face.  
  
While Adam was staring, Amy had been saying something; what he had no idea. Suddenly, she cut herself off by looking at her watch.  
  
"I'm sorry, I have to go," she said, picking her bag up off the bench. "I guess I lost track of time. I hope I see you sometime later." And before Adam knew the difference, she was walking away.  
  
"Bye," he finally managed to call out to her. She turned around slightly and waved before continuing on.  
  
"Hey Cake Eater!" Adam turned toward the source of the obnoxious but well meaning nickname. It was Russ Tyler. Charlie was with him. "You got stars in you eyes?" Russ asked.  
  
"Very funny." Adam came down from the stands to join them. "You guys ready to go?"  
  
"Food," Charlie stated simply. "Starving."  
  
"Gotcha, Charlie," Adam said. "Food it is." 


	2. "Getting to Know You"

Chapter 2 "Getting to Know You"  
  
During the next week, Adam saw Amy a few more times in passing. They would stop and talk for a moment on their way to classes or to their dorms. They found that they had a lot in common. Amy was from Richfield, a town not far from Edina, where Adam was from. Both of them came from fairly well-to-do families. Amy's family had been generous benefactors to Eden Hall. The school library was named after her grandfather, Daniel Morgan. Their families even belonged to the same country club. Other than those few facts, Amy never really talked about her family. Whenever Adam brought it up, she always found some tactful way to change the subject.  
  
The one thing they didn't have in common were classes. They weren't in a single one together, nor would they by the whole year. Amy did have one class with Connie, and after a while, a system of correspondence was established, using Connie as the mailwoman.  
  
Adam didn't know exactly what it was about Amy, but they connected very quickly. Maybe it was their common background, maybe it was fate, or maybe it was just plain luck. But as the days passed by, Adam and Amy spent more and more time together. She came to every Duck home game, and one away game. She had no idea how much her presence meant to Adam at those games. When he could look in the stands and see her face, he didn't think of the scouts at all. He was playing better too, and everyone acknowledged it.  
  
"Hey Banksie," Charlie said as the Ducks were celebrating an away game win. "What has gotten into you lately? Not that I'm complaining or anything."  
  
"Honestly, Charlie," Adam started, "I really don't know."  
  
"I do," Connie said teasingly. Because she was a source of communication between Adam and Amy, she had been sworn to secrecy about anything she was told. That didn't mean that she couldn't hang it over Adam's head every once and a while though. She caught sight of Adam, shaking his head and giving her a warning look, and she didn't say anything else.  
  
On the bus ride home, Adam sat near the back with Julie. They were close friends, and he knew he could discuss anything with her.  
  
"You really like her, don't you?" Julie asked, meaning Amy. Adam only nodded in reply. Julie couldn't help but smile. "Good. It's about time you focused on something other than school and hockey."  
  
Adam laughed at that. It was time, actually. His love life had always taken a backseat to his studies, hockey, and his friends. "How did you know about Scott?" he asked suddenly.  
  
"Know what?"  
  
"That you and Scott should be together." Adam was being serious now; Julie could tell from the tone of his voice.  
  
She had to think for a moment about just the right thing to answer his question with. She and Scott (also known as Scooter) had been together for quite a while (since the end of her freshmen year at Eden Hall.) They had survived two years of being apart most of the time because of Scott going to college. Luckily, he decided to go to the University of Minnesota, so he was never that far away. Julie could understand why her answer would be important to Adam.  
  
"I guess," she started, "I knew when we went out just before he had to leave before school started our sophomore year. We'd only been going out casually during the summer, just testing the waters, you know?" Adam nodded, so she continued. "Well, anyway, we went to some really fancy dinner club, but they lost our reservations. Instead of waiting for a table, we just stopped by some fast food joint, and took out food to the park. I had the most fun that night. I mean, there I was, wearing one of my best dresses, sitting on a park bench, and eating a cheeseburger. And I didn't care one bit, because I was with him." She paused, basking in her memory for a few seconds. "I guess I just figured that it was more than a coincidence. Does that make any sense?"  
  
Adam smiled, knowing exactly what Julie meant. "More sense than you'll ever know," he said.  
  
The day after the game, Adam and his father went out for a Saturday dinner at their country club. Mr. Bank's wanted to celebrate Adam's game. He knew about the scouts and was sure that his son was skating his way to a college scholarship, if not a way to the minor, or even the major leagues.  
  
Adam was just ready to start on his dinner when he noticed Amy sitting with two other women at a table across the room. He knew that she was a member, but he was still surprised to see her. He was about to try to get her attention, but thought better of shouting and waving his arms like a maniac. Instead, he was content to stare across the room while his father droned on, not noticing his son's preoccupation.  
  
After a few minutes of watching, Adam began to understand why Amy didn't like to talk about her family. The more time that passed, the more miserable she looked. She was virtually being ignored by the women. She was sitting up straight in her chair and her face looked as if it was frozen in stone.  
  
Across the room, Amy was bored to tears. Her mother had convinced her to go to their country club for a night out. That morning, her mother invited a socialite friend to come with her, insuring that Amy would have no one to talk to. She picked gingerly at her salad as her mother and Beth the socialite friend chatted away, barely looking in Amy's direction. Finally Amy spoke up. "If I dropped dead, right here, right now, would you notice?" The other women didn't hear her. Exasperated, Amy slumped down in her chair and crossed her arms across her chest. Sure enough, her mother noticed her them.  
  
"Amy dear," she said strictly. "Sit up straight. You look dreadful." With those parting words, she turned back to Beth and preceded to ignore her daughter.  
  
Amy sat up straight and still in her chair and looked more miserable than ever. It was then that she felt the back-of-the-neck tingling feeling that someone was watching her. She scanned the room until she locked eyes with Adam. He seemed to understand her plight and looked sympathetic. He motioned for her to come over. Amy took a few quick looks around before rising from the table, muttering something about the restroom. She doubted if her mother knew she left at all.  
  
Adam and his father stood as Amy approached their table. "Amy," Adam said politely, "this is my father, Phillip Banks." Adam's father reached out his hand to Amy's  
  
"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Banks," she said, taking the seat that was pulled out for her.  
  
Adam's father, being ever so much a tactician, excused himself to go make a phone call, and left the two teenagers alone.  
  
"How's your family outing going?" Adam asked, taking the assumption that one of the women Amy had been sitting with was her mother.  
  
"Same old story. Yours?" Amy knew that Adam got along with his father, but they were known to have their moments.  
  
"Okay, I guess. My father's about ready to sign me up for the Redwings any minutes though."  
  
Amy gave an encouraging smile. "He's just proud of you, that's all."  
  
"I know he is, "Adam admitted. "But sometimes he gets his wires crossed. Would you believe that when the Ducks played my old team the Hawks in the pee-wee championships, my father cheered for the Hawks before I go hurt and taken out of the game? He even tried to get me to quit hockey before I played for the Ducks."  
  
"Good thing you didn't quit."  
  
"Really," Adam agreed. "The Ducks were the best thing that ever happened to me. I mean, look at all the great things I've gotten to do. I went to the Junior Goodwill Games. I got a scholarship to come to Eden Hall. Of course," he said, almost to himself, "I probably would have come anyway, but…"  
  
"But it's just not the same," Amy offered.  
  
"No, it isn't," he agreed. Adam looked around the crowded club and decided that he'd much rather be somewhere else. "Would you like to go for a walk somewhere?" he asked. The minute the words left his mouth his regretted them, wincing inwardly. He had totally forgotten that she was having dinner with her mother. But before he could say anything else, Amy spoke up.  
  
"I'd love to. I'd go anywhere if it's away from here," she said.  
  
"Really?" Adam asked, surprised. "Okay. Let my go find my father so he knows where I'm going."  
  
"Oh, right," Amy said. "I almost forgot about my mother and her friend. I suppose I should tell her where I'm going."  
  
They both rose from the table and Adam went off in search of his father. Mr. Banks was a little irked that Adam was abandoning their dinner, but he understood and didn't let his anger show. Amy didn't get quite the same reaction form he mother.  
  
"Going where, dear?" her mother asked, not even turning around to face her daughter.  
  
"On a walk. With Adam," Amy said pointedly. Her mother seemed to have stopped listening so Amy just grabbed her purse and walked away.  
  
Adam noticed Amy's slightly annoyed expression when they met by the front door.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked, holding the door open for her.  
  
"My mother," she said irritable. "Sometimes she just makes me so mad." Adam gave her a look that clearly said that she didn't have to continue, but she did. "The burdens of being high class," she said, almost jokingly. "My father is always working. Constantly. We didn't just fall backwards into money. Dad's worked his whole life to be this comfortable. All Mother does is spend the money that Dad makes. It just makes me mad." Her voice trailed off at the end of her sentence and Adam knew that wasn't all that was bothering her.  
  
"There's something else, isn't there?" he asked gently.  
  
Amy hesitated before she answered. Her mother was a very sensitive subject to her. But she knew that she could trust Adam with anything, even her greatest fears.  
  
"Well," she started slowly, gathering courage. "I know is going to sound ridiculous, but…but my mother hates me." Adam started to say something but Amy corrected herself. "No, that's a little harsh. She probably doesn't hate me, but, well, she hates the idea of me. You see, she never wanted children. Ever. Just didn't fit in with her master plan. I guess she just didn't want responsibility. So growing up, she was never around. She always managed to find someplace else to be. Missed my whole childhood practically." The more Amy talked, the stonier her voice became. "She missed my first step, if you'd believe that." Adam didn't say anything so she continued. "Dad was always working, so my mother usually left me with a nanny or a babysitter, or someone else, so long as she didn't have to look after me. She says that now that I'm older, she can enjoy my company, but she never talks to me. She just drags me around on her dinner and tea party circles and has me sit in the corner and look nice."  
  
They had wandered into a small garden on the grounds of the country club. Amy and Adam sat down on a quaint stone bench. Amy gave a loud sigh, feeling a great weight lifted off her shoulders.  
  
"Feel better?" Adam asked.  
  
Amy smiled warmly at him. "I do, actually. Sometimes it just helps to say things out loud I guess." A sharp wind blew through the garden and Amy shivered.  
  
"Do you want my coat?" Adam asked. She shook her head, but he had already removed his dress jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. "Better?"  
  
"Much," she answered.  
  
They were sitting very close now on the bench and they both noticed it. Instead of stammering, moving away or doing something else equally nervous, they moved even closer and enjoyed their proximity. Adam put his arm around Amy and she leaned against his chest. Neither of them spoke, but Adam knew that something very important had happened.  
  
For a few minutes they sat there, not moving, not speaking. But before long they realized it was getting late. They started back for the front door of the country club. As they got closer, they say both their parents waiting for them. Amy's mother was chatting with her friend and Adam's father was talking with an old business associate. Before they were noticed, Adam gave Amy a quick kiss whispered, "The Ducks are practicing tomorrow around three. Just in case you want to come."  
  
"I'll be there," Amy said, looking back at her mother with distaste. "Anything to get away from her."  
  
They parted ways when they approached their parents. "See you tomorrow?" Adam asked.  
  
Amy only nodded, just in case her mother might actually be listening. She may not take an interest the majority of the time, but when she did, Clarice Morgan was beyond snoopy. Amy didn't want to risk her mother messing things up with Adam. The whole car ride back to Eden Hall, Amy was in a kind of daze, thinking about seeing him again the next day. She wouldn't even have noticed if her mother had decided to strike up a conversation, which she didn't.  
  
Adam's father wasn't as quiet as Amy's mother. As soon as he and Adam were in their car, he asked, "So, who is this girl?" with an amused air.  
  
Adam tried to answer him casually, but he didn't think it worked. "Amy? Just some girl from school."  
  
"Just some girl from school?" his father repeated. "That's it?"  
  
Adam didn't answer, but he smiled to himself, which was enough of an answer for his father. Amy wasn't brought up in conversation again as they drove back to the dorms at Eden Hall. When they pulled up to Adam's dorm, his father gave him a strange, almost bemused look, which Adam chose not to interpret. Instead, he simply thanked his father for the dinner and said good-bye.  
  
As Adam climbed the stairs to his room, he thought about seeing Amy the next day at practice. He could finally formally introduce her to the rest of the Ducks. He had told them about her of course, but most of them (except Connie) had never met her. He just knew that they would love her. How could they not?  
  
He was so wrapped in his thoughts that when he opened the door to his dorm room, he walked smack into Charlie.  
  
"Oh, sorry man," he stammered.  
  
"S'okay, no permanent damage done," Charlie said. "I was just going downstairs to wait for you anyway. So, how was dinner?"  
  
Adam smiled, still thinking of Amy and said, "Dinner was fine, I suppose." But Adam and Charlie had been friends for too long and Charlie knew he wasn't getting the whole story.  
  
"Spill it, Banks," he said, leaning back on his bed.  
  
"Nothing happened, really," Adam insisted, loosening his tie and hanging up his coat. "My steak was undercooked, my father went on and on about my college future, I ran into Amy…"  
  
"Wait, hold up," Charlie interrupted. "You ran into Amy?"  
  
Adam gave up trying to be secretive and told Charlie all about what happened in the garden. "And I think she's coming to our practice tomorrow," he finished. He was relieved in a way, that one of his closest friends now knew what he was feeling.  
  
"Cool," Charlie said. "Finally get to meet her, up close and personal. You know," he added, "we should double, you and Amy and me and Linda. We should go to eat sometime, or go to a movie or something."  
  
"I don't know, Charlie," Adam said. "You know how Linda can be with new people."  
  
"Yeah," Charlie admitted. "But she warms up pretty quickly."  
  
Suddenly, there was a streak of lightening and a crash of thunder outside the window, and Charlie gave a little yell. "Jeez, I didn't know it was supposed to rain tonight," he said, peering outside. "I hope it doesn't keep up. I hate having to walk to class in the rain." He turned to say something to Adam, but found his friend staring off into space. Instead of interrupting what was probably a pleasant daydream, he left Adam with his thoughts. 


	3. "And Now?"

Chapter 3 "And Now?"  
  
"Nice shot, Banks," Orion said when Adam got one past Julie. They'd been practicing for about half an hour, and Amy hadn't shown up yet. Adam was starting to worry about her. Lucky for him, that nervous energy actually improved his game. He was having a very good practice.  
  
"She'll show up soon," Julie assured him as he circled around the net. "She's probably just running late."  
  
Adam didn't answer her because at that exact moment, Amy appeared at the top of the stands. She pointed to her watch and shrugged apologetically, meaning that she had lost track of time. She took a seat and watched the practice. The team scrimmaged for another twenty minutes of so and then Orion have them a small break. Adam glided over to the boards where Amy was waiting for him. Charlie, Julie and some others were right behind him.  
  
"So this is the famous Amy Morgan," Charlie said, shaking her hand. "Banks has told me a lot about you."  
  
"Likewise," she returned. "And Scooter has told me a lot about you," she said to Julie.  
  
"Scott? Really?" Julie seemed surprised that Amy knew him.  
  
"Yes. I met him a few years ago. He was a sophomore when my brother was a senior. I write to him a lot now that he's away at college. He thinks about you a lot, and he writes about you even more." Julie blushed a little and smiled to herself.  
  
Adam introduced Amy to the rest of the Ducks in turn. Luis Mendoza and Portman both tried to smooth talk her, but a cool look from Adam shut them up. Dwayne was a perfect gentleman, of course, and he and Amy got into a small conversation about horse riding.  
  
"How's your bother?" Orion asked when he came over.  
  
"Brian's great, Ted," she answered. "I'm surprised you remember him. You only met him a few times, right?"  
  
"Oh, you don't forget a hockey player like your brother," Orion said. "Does he still play much at all?"  
  
"Not as often as he'd like. He's started med school now, and he says his time just slips away from him." Amy glowed with pride when she talked about her brother.  
  
Orion turned back to the Ducks. "Okay guys, and girls," he added, before Julie or Connie could give him a look, "it's time for your old friend, speed sprints." The team groaned and whined in response, but they line up obediently. Adam winked at Amy and lined up with the others. Orion blew his whistle to start them off and then turned back to Amy. "He could have gone all the way," he told her. "Your brother could have been one of the greats."  
  
Amy nodded knowingly. "He thought about it for a long time. Ever since he was young, Brian wanted to be two things: a hockey player and a doctor. It was just a matter of choosing one over the other."  
  
"Do you think he regrets it?" Orion asked, obviously thinking of his own choice to leave the pros.  
  
"No he doesn't regret it. I think, for him, just knowing that he could have gone all the way was enough for him." Amy looked across the rink to where Adam was giving Goldberg a little bit of advice. "What about Adam?" she asked.  
  
"What about Adam?" Orion echoed.  
  
"Do you think he could go all the way?"  
  
Orion didn't answer at once. "Talent wise, yes. But more and more over the past year or so, I've been getting the feeling that maybe hockey isn't what he wants to do for the rest of his life. Has he said anything about that to you by any chance?" Amy only shook her head, staring across the ice. "No matter," Orion continued quickly. "He may have just gotten so busy with school and everything…"  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right," Amy agreed, willing herself not to worry.  
  
Practice was over before long, and the Ducks filed out of the ice rink and eventually only Adam and Amy were left. They walked around the ice for a while in silence. Finally, Adam asked, "Did you ever skate?"  
  
Amy had been in a bit of a daze, thinking about what Orion had said, and it took her second to register Adam's question. "No, not really," she answered. "Not for lack of trying. When I was little, I wanted to be a figure skater."  
  
"What happened?" Adam asked.  
  
"Oh, I just wasn't any good. Couldn't do the jumps, I guess." Amy stopped and looked out at the empty ice. "I just loved being on the ice. Probably because that meant I would be with my brother." Amy stared hard at the ice as if she could see her brother skating there. "How about you? Why'd you start playing hockey?"  
  
"My older brother," Adam told her. "He played for the Hawks, too. When I was younger, I wanted to be just like him."  
  
"And now?" Amy prompted.  
  
"Now? Now I love to play. I love being a part of the Ducks. And I'm good at it. And…"His voice trailed unhappily off into the open air.  
  
"But now it's different?" Amy offered. "Something's changed?"  
  
Adam slumped and sat down, leaning on the boards behind him and gave a tired sigh. Amy slid down and sat next to him. She knew now what Coach Orion had been talking about. She didn't press him anymore, but he talked freely.  
  
"I don't know really. Maybe it's just not as fun as it used to be, more pressure. Scouts have been watching me lately at games. I even caught someone watching me at practice last week." His voice was strained and weighed down. "It's like being under a looking glass. One stupid mistake on the ice, one bad impression, and I could ruin my future. And my father. He has my whole hockey future mapped out. I know he means well, but… I'm so afraid of letting him down. Sometimes, it's just too much to handle. But I don't want to disappoint the Ducks, so I have to keep playing."  
  
The air between them was still for a few moments. Amy didn't know what to say to make Adam feel better. Finally, she took his hand and asked, "Have you told any of your friends how you feel?" Adam shook his head in reply. "You should," Amy told him. "They're your best friends. They'll understand. Your father would too," she added.  
  
Adam knew she was right, but still his mind shuddered at the idea of bringing up that particular conversation with Charlie or any of the Ducks. And his father- that was something different entirely. When his brother had quit playing hockey, Philip Banks went through a period of something like withdrawal and couldn't bring himself to forgive Nathan for a good couple of months. If Adam revealed that he didn't want to play hockey now, right at the most important time for his future career, his father might just die of frustration.  
  
A few minutes of pure silence passed before Adam stood up, ready to leave. He gave his hand to Amy to help her up and they walked out of the ice rink without speaking. By the time they arrived at Amy's dorm, she had attempted to strike up a conversation three times, only to be stopped by the vacant look on Adam's face. She forgave him for his distraction, knowing what was occupying his thoughts. "I'll talk to you tomorrow," she said, unlocking her door. "I can see you have some serious thinking to do tonight."  
  
"I'm sorry, Amy," Adam said. "I'm not being very good company, am I?"  
  
"It's okay. I understand. Just call me sometime tomorrow after class. Maybe you'll have a clearer head then." She planted a quick kiss on Adam's cheek then disappeared behind the door. 


	4. "To Whom Do You Turn?"

Chapter 4 "To Whom Do You Turn?"  
  
  
  
When Adam returned to his dorm, he was glad to find Charlie thoroughly engrossed in his homework with loud rock music blaring from his earphones. Charlie managed a small wave but didn't say anything. Adam dropped his hockey bag in the corner and unearthed his phone from underneath a pile of history papers. He was about to dial when he suddenly felt very exposed. He looked around the room. He knew there was little or no chance that Charlie would hear him over the loud strains of Ozzy Osbourne. Still, Adam went into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He dialed his brother's number at college and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. As he heard the rings, he suddenly realized he had no idea what to say. He had thought of his brother by instinct, a childhood belief that your older brother could solve any problem you might have. Before he could think of how he would even begin to explain what he was feeling, a gruff, tired voice answered, "Hello?"  
  
At least it wasn't Nathan. It was his roommate, Evan. This bought Adam a little more time. Not much, but ever little second counts. "Is Nathan around?" he asked. "It's his brother, Adam." Evan grumbled something and put the phone down. Adam could only assume he was off to retrieve his brother. A few moments passed and Adam tried to collect his rambling thoughts.  
  
"Hello, little bro," Nathan said. "What's up with you calling me out of the blue? You never call me."  
  
"I call you," Adam said softly, knowing it wasn't really true. School and hockey tended to take over his life, and calling his brother was often the last thing on his mind.  
  
"I'm just ragging you, Adam. But what's up?"  
  
Suddenly everything Adam had imagined himself saying sounded very shallow, superficial, and pointless in his mind. He just started to talk, finding words just pouring out of his mouth. "I'm in trouble, Nathan. I'm…drowning, and I have no idea how to save myself."  
  
"Let's hope you're being metaphorical there," Nathan said, laughing.  
  
"I'm serious. I am in something deep here, and I need your help."  
  
"You do sound pretty bad. What kind of problem are we talking about? School, Dad…is there a problem between you and Amy?" Nathan knew a little about Adam's relationship, from his hurried and all too short emails and their father's not too precise descriptions.  
  
"It's not school, my grades are fine. They actually think I'm going to make top ten, maybe top five. Dad is…Dad. Things are pretty much the same there. And Amy," Adam struggled to find the right thing to say about Amy. Nothing he could imagine sounding good enough. "It's not Amy. She's great. It's…hockey, and the Ducks actually."  
  
"Hmmm. Never thought you'd say that. What possible problem could you have with hockey? Lost your touch?" Nathan couldn't help but give that little jab, knowing that his younger brother was much better at the game than he ever was.  
  
"Very funny, Nathan. I just don't think I want to play anymore. It's not as fun as it used to be. Too much pressure, you know." Adam couldn't believe what he was saying. He never thought he'd reach the day when hockey wasn't fun anymore. "I feel like I should take a break, but I can't let the Ducks down, and Dad…"  
  
"Eeh, Dad. I know what you mean." Nathan remembered very clearly the face his father had made when he said he wasn't going to play anymore. "He does tend to get carried away with these kinds of things, doesn't he?"  
  
"Don't I know it? He'd flip out if I told him I didn't want to play. Especially now that the scouts are breathing down my neck, and Dad's so worried about college, and…" Adam trailed off, running out of steam. He waited for his brother to speak and magically fix everything.  
  
"I'm guessing you haven't told another soul about this, right?" Nathan asked.  
  
"No. I've talked to Amy. She's the one who made me think of calling you. Of course she said if I just talked Dad, or the Ducks, they would understand. I couldn't imagine talking to Dad just now, so I called you," Adam said.  
  
"Your little lady's right, Adam. Talk it out. Talk to Charlie, I'm sure he can at least relate, in some way. He's your best friend." Nathan was pulling the oldest trick in the big brother book, putting the task off the best friend. He didn't know what to tell Adam. He had experienced the exact same problem his senior year in high school, and looking back, he realized he had taken the coward's way out. He simply quit playing. He missed it now, the thrill of the game, the win. He had been a Hawk, and he couldn't watch a single game on TV without hearing the Hawk chants run through his head. 'It's not worth winning if you can't win big.' He didn't want Adam to miss out of whatever great opportunities he had because of his talent. "I'm afraid I can't really help you. I never really figured out that problem myself," he said.  
  
"Well, thanks, bro. You've helped a little, I think. I should really just talk to Charlie. He may not understand me, but at least he'll listen," Adam said, trying to sound cheerful. "I'm sure you have work to do, or something. I sure do, so I'll let you go."  
  
"Yeah, work. I'm sure there's some of that lying around that I need to get to before tomorrow morning," Nathan said with a chuckle. "Call me a little more often, little brother. I need to keep up with your high school melodramas."  
  
"Will do, big brother, will do. Bye then."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Adam hung up the phone, feeling somewhat empty, and no better off than he had been before he called. Nathan had not saved the day as he had always done when they were younger. But Adam knew that Nathan couldn't live his entire life for him, and that no matter how much Adam wished it otherwise, he would just have to deal with his problems on his own, in his own time. He was lost in this thought when there was a very loud bang on the bathroom door.  
  
"Banks, are you dying in there, or what?" Charlie yelled through the closed door.  
  
"No, Charlie. I was on the phone," Adam returned. He emerged from the bathroom clutching his phone like a life preserver.  
  
"Amy?" Charlie asked, winking.  
  
"No, my brother, Nathan." Before Charlie could ask what he had called for, Adam pressed on. "Just a random, catch up call. I haven't talked to him in a long time, and I felt bad."  
  
Adam sat down at his desk and stared at his schoolbooks. He had reading to do, boring psychology, but he just couldn't bring himself to crack the spine. He stared at a picture on his desk, one taken five years ago, after a random street hockey game. There were the Ducks, all crowded together, Adam and Charlie near the middle of the clump. 'They are part of my family,' Adam thought. 'I can't let them down.' Adam kept repeating this to himself. 'I can't let them down.'  
  
Halfway through the Wednesday practice, Adam almost let the cat out of the bag. He was chatting with Julie and she was asking him about his college applications.  
  
"How are you doing with your aps?" she asked. "I'm almost finished with my first choices, but there are a few more schools I feel like I should apply to, you know, just in case."  
  
Adam nodded. "I know exactly what you mean. I finished my St. Paul ap, but I haven't sent it in yet. I haven't decided what to do about the hockey problem." The second the words left his lips, he realized what he had said, and screamed inside his mind.  
  
"What hockey problem?" Julie asked, confused.  
  
"Oh, I…" Adam tried to cover up. "I'm not sure St. Paul's the best team in the area, you know." Julie wasn't buying it. "It's just a little problem, nothing big." Adam hoped that Julie wouldn't press him for details, and she didn't.  
  
"Well," she said, "if it's a problem I can help with, you know you can always come talk to me."  
  
"I know, Jules. Thanks." Adam didn't get a chance to say anything else because Coach Orion was waving the team back on the ice to continue practice. He skated out with the others, feeling even more that he owed it to this team, his best friends, not to let his stupid little problem get in the way. The Ducks were bigger than him, bigger than his problems. 


	5. "A Crash in the Night"

Chapter 5 "A Crash in the Night"  
  
"Did you talk to Charlie?" Amy asked. She and Adam were sitting at dinner at The Dunwoody, a very fancy dinner club, on Thursday night. They were waiting for their waiter to appear and Amy couldn't help bringing it up.  
  
"No," Adam admitted, somewhat sheepishly. "I talked to my brother. Right after we talked actually." Amy looked at him accusatively, and Adam said, "I thought that was a major step forward. It's not so easy to talk about this, you know. I'm only admitting that I know longer enjoy the game I've loved for thirteen years. It doesn't really roll off the tongue."  
  
"I know it's not easy for you, Adam," Amy said. "That was only a half serious look." She laughed lightly and Adam relaxed. "Have you made any progress on your own?"  
  
"Not really. I don't feel like I can play anymore, but I know I can't not play. Does that make any sense?" Amy nodded, so he continued. "I almost said something to Julie yesterday, but just couldn't do it. Not that I don't think she'd understand, she might even be the best person to talk to, but…"  
  
"But she's a Duck, and you'd feel you were letting her down," Amy finished for him. Adam nodded in answer. "You know Adam, you're beginning to sound like a broken record."  
  
"I know," Adam admitted. "But it's what I feel. I can't change that."  
  
"Why do you think you can talk to me about his?" Amy asked.  
  
Adam opened his mouth to reply, but soon shut it again because he couldn't think of a logical answer. Finally he said, "You're not a Duck."  
  
"That simple, is it?" she asked. "I'm not a Duck, so you wouldn't be letting me down."  
  
"Yeah. Simple, but true. I don't know, it may have something to do with your brother, too."  
  
"What does Brian have to do with this?"  
  
"Well," Adam started, "he stopped playing hockey because he had to make a choice: lifelong dream, or hockey. I kind of feel the same way."  
  
"Then what's your lifelong dream?" she asked.  
  
"I have no idea," Adam said. "But I might never know if I spend the rest of my life playing hockey."  
  
Amy would have said something else, but their waiter chose that exact moment to saunter up to their table. She threw Adam a look across the table that said very clearly, 'We'll talk more about his later.'  
  
Adam was squinting through the darkness, trying to listen to Amy and drive safely at the same time. "You can't keep hiding this forever, Adam," she was saying. "If you don't tell anyone, it'll start spilling out when you least expect it. Like you almost telling Julie at practice yesterday."  
  
"I know, I know," Adam said softly, more to himself than to Amy. He was wrapped up in this thought when he heard Amy scream, almost as if from a distance. His eyes focused just in time to see the car careening towards them in their lane. He swerved off to the side and the car hit them in the back left corner. Their car fishtailed across the road and fell into a ditch. When the dust settled and Adam felt like he could move again, he looked over to Amy. She was crying silently, holding her right arm against her body. "Are you okay?" Adam asked, quite lamely.  
  
"I can't feel my arm," Amy said, her voice barely audible.  
  
"Where is your phone?" Adam asked. Amy nodded towards her bag which had fallen under the seat. Adam reached down to retrieve the bag and pulled out the phone. He dialed 911.  
  
When the call was over, Adam managed to force himself to get out of the car. His legs didn't appear to be working very well, and he practically had to pull himself out. He walked around the car to help Amy out, but her door was jammed. "You'll have to come over to my side," he told her. Still cradling her right arm, Amy crawled through the car. She had stopped crying, but when Adam helped her out of the car, she could barely stand. She leaned against him.  
  
"What happened, Adam?" she asked. "Where's the other car?"  
  
Adam swiveled his head around, searching for the other car. He found it off on the other side of the road. He looked closer into the cab of the vehicle. There seemed to be only one man inside, his head against the steering wheel. He was not moving. Amy followed his eyes and gasped.  
  
"Do you think he's…?" She couldn't finish the question. They walked closer to the car, and in getting a better look at the man, did not see any blood or sign of injury, yet the man did not move.  
  
Once he was sure Amy could stand on her own, Adam left her to investigate the other car. He walked slowly up to the driver side door. Nothing appeared to be damaged. The car had hit Adam's with its passenger side. Very slowly, Adam reached out to the door handle. The air was so still and silent around him and Adam realized he was holding his breath. 'Calm down,' he told himself. He reached for the door handle and pulled. Nothing happened. He pulled again, more forcefully. Again, nothing. Adam looked closely into the car and realized it was locked.  
  
"Adam!" Amy yelled. "They're here!" She pointed down the road to the approaching flashing lights. Two police cars and an ambulance pulled up to the crash site. The EMTs flooded out of their vehicle and rushed to Adam and Amy's side.  
  
"Are you two ok?" one woman asked.  
  
"We'll be ok for now," Adam said. "But the man in the other car isn't moving." He pointed to show the way only to find other EMTs already working at getting the driver's door open.  
  
"They'll take care of him," the woman said. She turned to Amy and asked, "Did you hurt your arm?"  
  
Amy had to pry her eyes away from the other car. She answered, "Yes. I… I think it might be broken. I tried to brace myself when we started spinning."  
  
"Let's take a look." The EMT led Amy over to the back of the ambulance while Adam stayed behind to talk to the cops.  
  
"You alright son?" the officer named Collins asked. When Adam nodded, he continued. "Can you tell me what happened?"  
  
Adam struggled to straighten out the chain of events in his mind. "We were driving home from dinner," he started, "and we were coming around this corner when Amy screamed. I saw the other car coming straight towards us in our lane. I had just enough time to swerve a little. He hit the back of my car and we spun off the road and into the ditch."  
  
"You say the other driver was in your lane?"  
  
"Yes officer." Adam looked back at the other car. The EMTs had forced open the door and pulled the man out. A few were crouching over him, talking excitedly, though Adam couldn't hear what they were saying.  
  
Eventually Adam and Amy were loaded onto a second ambulance and driven to the hospital. On the way there, the EMTs told them that the other man had suffered a heart attack while driving. He had been driven as soon as possible to the emergency room. They didn't know if he was going to be okay.  
  
Adam called his father on Amy's cell phone to let him know what had happened and that they were being taken to the hospital.  
  
"Do you want me to come up there and meet you at the hospital?" Adam's father asked. "No, Dad. You don't have to. It's a long way to go this late at night, and I'm not hurt badly. I can get back to school okay," Adam had said.  
  
By the time they reached the hospital, Amy had still not been able to find either of her parents. She called her home, finding her father still at work and her mother off with her friends. She called her father's office, but she got no answer. She called her mother's cell phone, but it was not turned on.  
  
In the emergency room, the doctors decided that Amy had indeed broken her right arm, though not seriously. They set it immediately and put her in a cast. After a thorough examination, they found nothing seriously wrong with Adam, save a minor concussion and a few scraps and bruises. They advised him not to play in the Friday night game, which Adam didn't have a problem with.  
  
After finally getting released, Adam called a taxi to take them back to Eden Hall. He walked Amy to her dorm and gave her a kiss goodnight. "Sorry the evening had to end so badly," he apologized. "We'll try to do a little better next time."  
  
It was long after midnight when Adam finally pushed open the door to his own room. He expected Charlie to be fast asleep, but he got a very loud surprise.  
  
"Where have you been Banks?" Charlie asked. "You should have been home hours ago."  
  
"Charlie, you sound just like my father," Adam said, laughing, trying to pass off the whole thing.  
  
"No go, Banksie," Charlie warned. "You're not going anywhere till you tell me what's up." Charlie then noticed the bruises already forming on Adams face and arms. "Whoa. What happened?"  
  
"Amy and I were in a car accident on our way back from dinner," Adam said simply. "The other driver had a heart attack and lost control." Charlie's eyes were as big as saucers, but he said nothing. "I'm fine, I think, just a mild concussion and some bumps and bruises. Amy broke her arm, but other than that, she's fine. We don't know about the other man. He was still in the ER when we left."  
  
"What a night, eh?" Charlie asked. "Are you going to be able to play tomorrow?"  
  
Adam laughed. Leave it to Charlie to think of hockey so quickly. "The doctors don't think I should play tomorrow, but they think after that I should be fine."  
  
"That's pretty bad. You've never missed a game before, have you?" Charlie mused. "At least, not since the Junior Goodwill Games. You gonna be alright with this?"  
  
"Not like I have a choice, do I?" Adam pointed out. "But it might be nice to have a little medically ordered break. I can just watch the action on the ice and not worry about playing the game." Adam thought for a moment. "You know, I've never really seen the Ducks play from a spectator level. Might be fun."  
  
Charlie obviously didn't agree with him. "Whatever you say, Banks. Have you told anyone else about this?"  
  
"I haven't had the chance. I just got back from the hospital. My day knows, other than that, it's only you. I'll talk to Coach first thing in the morning." Adam slowly made his way toward his bed, despite seeing that Charlie was up to more chit chat. "Listen, Charlie, I'm pretty beat. D'you mind if I turn in now?"  
  
"Yeah, no problem," Charlie said. "You've had a long night." 


	6. "Choices"

Chapter 6 "Choices"  
  
Coach Orion wasn't happy about losing his star player, even if it was only for one game. He grumbled to himself for a good hour, but knew better than to say anything to Adam. He knew it wasn't Adam's fault that he couldn't play. He hadn't asked to be sideswiped by a random car in the middle of the night. Orion just had to grin and bear it. He had thought that he might get to at least have Adam behind the boards, acting like an assistant coach or something, but Adam asked specifically to be allowed to sit in the crowd and watch, like a normal spectator. Orion really wanted to say no (he had the right, after all), but he couldn't bring himself to say no to such an earnest request from his star player. He knew, of course, that Adam was having some sort of internal struggle, and he only hoped that a short respite would help him through it.  
  
And so, for the first time, Adam sat in the crowd and watched the Ducks play the Friday night game. He was strangely excited about watching the game, more excited than he had been playing the game in long time. He and Amy sat with other seniors and cheered the Ducks along to an 8 to 6 victory.  
  
"That was great game," Adam said to the team as he approached them after the final bell.  
  
"Woulda been better if you hadn't bailed on us," Averman said. "With you on the ice we could've creamed em."  
  
Adam's stomach made a sickening lurch. 'Is that what they think?' his mind reeled. 'Do they think I bailed on them?'  
  
Adam must have looked as if he was going to be sick because Averman laughed and punched his shoulder good-naturedly. "I was just kidding Banksie. Geez, lighten up."  
  
Adam forced himself to laugh, but his stomach was still feeling a little queasy. He realized that some of the Ducks were really looking at him strangely, including Coach Orion, so he tried to banish his ill thoughts and look like a normal human being. Most of them accepted his façade, but Amy knew what was going on beneath the skin. She gave Adam's hand a quick squeeze and flashed him a smile to let him know she understood.  
  
When the Ducks headed back to the locker room to change, Coach Orion sidled up to Adam. "How are you feeling?" he asked, casually.  
  
"Alright, I guess," Adam replied, but he still looked a little sick from what Averman had said, and Orion didn't really believe him.  
  
"What did your doctor say about your recovery?"  
  
Adam had been to see his family doctor the day before, and had been given an almost clean bill of health. His bruises were starting to disappear, and the soreness was slowly fading. The doctor credited his speedy recovery to the simple fact that he was young and in very good health. He had also told Adam that he didn't see any reason why he shouldn't jump right back into playing hockey. That had not been what Adam wanted to hear. He felt bad for thinking so, but Adam saw the accident as being an extremely lucky thing to have happened. He felt terrible that it had to happen (he had felt a little better when told that the other man was recovering, and would be okay), but the accident was giving him a chance to think about his life, about hockey, and his future with fewer distractions. But now that he was healthy enough to play again, he just wasn't sure he wanted to. But he wasn't sure he didn't want to play. What he was sure of was that he needed more time.  
  
Adam looked up at Coach Orion, and though he didn't want to lie, he said, "He said that I seem to be on the right track, but he wouldn't be surprised if new pains and aches rise to the surface in the next few days. Something about after you get over the initial shock, your muscles sometimes take time to realize they've been hurt. Or something like that."  
  
Orion looked skeptically at Adam, but didn't try to argue. "Well, I just hope you get back up to peak form soon. How's your arm?" he asked Amy, who had been listening to the whole conversation.  
  
"It's healing," she told him. "It wasn't too bad of a break, so I should be able to get the plaster cast off in two weeks or so."  
  
"Glad to hear it." Orion took one last parting glance at Adam and said, "Hope to see you at practice on Monday, Adam." Then he turned around and headed for the Duck locker room.  
  
As soon as she was sure Orion couldn't hear her, Amy gave Adam a good slap on the arm with her good hand and asked, "What exactly was that all about?"  
  
Adam slunk into a seat and for a moment hid his face in his hands. When he looked up, Amy had sat herself down beside him and was looking slightly more friendly and encouraging. "I don't know," Adam said. "I just…I didn't want him to know that Dr. Parach said that I could start playing again. This has been a good break for me, and I've gotten to do a lot of thinking. But I need more time."  
  
"You won't be able to fool him for long," Amy warned. "Especially not with that weak story."  
  
"I know. But I've got to buy myself a little more time." Adam looked at Amy seriously. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"  
  
Amy looked for a moment as if she were considering it, then smiled. "Of course not. It wouldn't be my place. However…" Adam groaned because he knew what was coming, "I think you should talk to Charlie," Amy finished in a sing-songy voice.  
  
"I know, I know," Adam said. "Are you ever going to let up on that?" he asked.  
  
"I'll think about it," Amy said.  
  
The rink was pretty much empty by now and Ducks were slowly starting to emerge from the locker room. Most said their goodnights and headed along their way, but Julie and Charlie stopped to talk to Adam and Amy. Charlie was busy describing some of the on-ice action that Adam had missed being in the stands so Julie pulled Amy aside and said, "Scott's coming into town tomorrow to see me and we want you and Adam to come to dinner with us."  
  
Amy really wanted to go, but wasn't sure if Adam would be up to it. She was about say she'd have to ask him when Julie continued. "Please say yes. I know something's been bothering Adam, and he may have talked to you about it, but for some reason, he won't talk to me, or Charlie. I thought he might talk to Scott. Please, just convince him."  
  
Amy was a little surprised at Julie's cunning. Now that she thought about it, Adam might actually talk to Scott. Not only was he not a duck, but he was someone who was still playing hockey in college and was really enjoying it. Surely, he'd be able to tell Adam something useful.  
  
"Okay," Amy agreed. "I'll talk him into it."  
  
Julie gave Amy's hand a supportive squeeze and said, "Great. I'll call you tonight just to make sure things are still on and tell you where we're going." They rejoined the boys just in time to catch the end of Charlie's animated description of his triumphant trash talking episode of the day.  
  
"Come on, Charlie," Julie said eventually, tugging on his sleeve. "Linda's probably waiting on us at the diner." She gave Adam a hug and said, "I hope you feel better soon." Then she half pulled Charlie out of the rapidly emptying ice rink.  
  
"What were you and Julie talking about?" Adam asked her once they were alone again.  
  
"Oh, nothing much. Girl stuff," Amy passed it off. "Oh, and she said Scott's coming around tomorrow and she wants us to have dinner with them tomorrow night."  
  
Adam looked at her skeptically. "I don't know, Amy."  
  
"Please, Adam. You never know, it might do you good," Amy tried to convince him. "You could talk to Scooter, he might give you some great insight." Adam didn't look like he was going to buy it. "Besides," Amy said finally, "you have to go. I already told Julie we'd be there."  
  
Adam started to say something, but thought better of it. He didn't want to yell at Amy, but he was a little ticked that she would go behind his back like that. He was ticked, but he understood. He knew she was only trying to help. He sighed deeply and said, "Fine. I'll go. But don't expect me to be pleasant company before the main course."  
  
Amy smiled triumphantly and draped her arms around Adam's neck. "I can live with that." Adam's arms snaked around Amy's waist and he pulled her closer. "You'll be fine," Amy told him. "You can't help being charming." She was going to say something else, but Adam stopped her with a kiss. She soon forgot completely what was on her mind and lost herself in her boyfriend's arms. 


	7. "Dinner With Friends"

Chapter 7 "Dinner With Friends"  
  
At 7:30 on the dot, Adam and Amy were pulling up in front of Merchants Grill. They were in Amy's car, as Adam's was still being worked on after the accident. They walked arm in arm into the restaurant and looked for Julie and Scott. Adam caught Julie's eye from across the room. She waved energetically and the couple made their way through the crowd to join them.  
  
Scott was a total gentleman and stood when they approached the table. He shook Adam's hand and gave Amy a big brother type hug. "Amy, you look great," Julie said. "I love that color on you."  
  
"Thanks, Julie," Amy said. "Same to you. Your hair is gorgeous."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Pulling out Amy's seat, Adam took a good look at his girlfriend. He had spent the duration of the car trip telling her how beautiful she was, cast and all, and now he couldn't help leaning over to whisper in her ear, "Jules is right. You are amazing." Amy smiled up at him, but did not respond. Julie and Scott were both looking at them pleasantly, and she decided to wait until they were alone to thank him.  
  
Before long, after the waiter had been around and the orders had been placed, Julie and Amy stood up almost in unison and announced, "We'll be right back boys." They headed off in the direction of the ladies room, their heads together in low conversation.  
  
"That was subtle," Adam commented, now alone at the table with Scott. He knew perfectly well that the girls were leaving so that Adam would have a chance to talk things out with Scott, or at least begin to.  
  
Scott nodded in agreement. "Well, subtlety was never one of Julie's strengths." He took a drink of water, then got straight to business. "Something bothering you?" he asked.  
  
Adam was startled by the forwardness of the inquiry. Scott's eyebrows were raised in question, waiting to hear Adam's side of a problem he had already heard bits and pieces of from Julie, who herself only had guesses. Finally, instead of answering, Adam started his own line of questioning.  
  
"Did you always want to play hockey?" he asked. "In college, I mean. Or beyond."  
  
Suddenly, Scott understood. He knew Adam's problem had something to do with hockey. Julie had established that much. But she had never connected Adam's dilemma with the scouts she had begun to see swarming at their games, or with the reality of their graduation looming near. But Scott saw the connection immediately, because he had felt the same thing. Hockey had been his life growing up, and he put up with so much just to be able to play the game. He practiced constantly in the off season, and sought out tutors during the school year help him keep his grades up so he could stay on the team. He even put up with the other players on the Eden Hall team, most of which were aggravating, self-centered fools. But when his senior year approached him, and he was constantly badgered about his future, he started to seriously think about it. Did he really want to be playing hockey the rest of his life?  
  
All these thoughts were swarming around his head when he realized that Adam was looking expectantly at him, awaiting an answer. He tried to iron out some of his memories so he could communicate them.  
  
"In the moment, hockey was always a part of my life. It was a daily reality. But when I thought about the future, things were always hazy. I wasn't sure if I saw hockey in my future." Scott took a deep breath and a moment to rearrange his thoughts. Adam was listening intently, and he really wanted to help. "Let me guess, Adam. You're not sure you want to play hockey for the rest of your life. Am I right?"  
  
"On the spot," Adam told him. "And it's not that I never want to play again, I just wonder if there's something else I should be doing. Something…bigger."  
  
Scott nodded, understanding. "The thing about the future, Adam, is that it is constantly in flux. What is true today may not be true tomorrow. Yesterday you thought that hockey was your future, and today you're thinking that might not be the case."  
  
"That's pretty much it," Adam said, impressed. "Would I be right in assuming this is familiar ground to you?" Scott chuckled a bit, agreeing. "So how did you come to any conclusions?"  
  
Scott's face straightened, and he was serious again. "I love hockey, always have. I think I just needed to realize that whatever decision I made about the next few years of my life was not permanent. I could always change my mind. That's one of life's little gifts. You can always change your mind, change your life."  
  
Adam was thinking about this when something in the corner of the room caught his eye. Julie and Amy were standing together, trying to avoid being seen. When Amy realized they had been caught, she shrugged her shoulders and grinned apologetically. She and Julie started to slowly make their way back to the table.  
  
"Thanks," Adam said to Scott as the girls approached. "It's something to think about at least." He and Scott stood when the girls reached them and Adam couldn't help but joke, "Did you get lost?"  
  
"Funny, Banks. Really witty," Julie countered.  
  
"You two deal with entertaining yourselves while we were gone?" Amy asked.  
  
"We managed," Adam said. "It was rough though."  
  
The evening went smoothly on from there. The four of them laughed and talked and went over old times. After their dinner plates had been cleared away, Scott and Amy started recalling stories of Amy's brother, Brian, whose Eden Hall exploits were something of legend. While they were busy exchanging tall tales, Julie shuffled her chair closer to Adam and asked under her breath, "Was Scott any help?"  
  
"He was actually," Adam was glad to inform her. "You're dating a really smart guy, Jules, hope you know that."  
  
Julie smiled and said, "Yeah, I do know how to pick 'em, don't I?" She examined Adam's face a little more closely and found that Adam did look more relaxed than he had at the beginning of the evening. An unconscious weight seemed to have been lifted from his shoulders. "So, are you going to fill me in on your big secret?" she asked.  
  
"It's kind of complicated…well, maybe not." His problem didn't seem so complicated anymore. "I've just been thinking about the future, and where hockey fits into all that."  
  
"That makes sense," Julie said. "I've been thinking the same thing, sort of. But it's more than that, isn't it. You were really messed up for a while."  
  
"I was thinking about it too much. So much so that playing wasn't fun anymore. You saw all the scouts at the games, didn't you?" Adam asked. Julie nodded and Adam continued. "Those scouts are like ghosts to me, or something worse. They make me so scared about everything. Scared I'll make some stupid mistake and ruin any chances I have at a future I'm not even sure I want."  
  
"Is that why you told Coach that you might not be ready to play again?" Julie asked carefully.  
  
"Yeah. I feel really bad thinking so, especially since Amy was hurt worse than I was, but that car accident was probably the best thing that could have happened." As he said that, Adam glanced across the table where Amy and Scott were still absorbed in their stories. Amy was resting her injured arm on the table, her white cast almost completely covered in a stained glass pattern, courtesy of a few of her art class friends. "My medically ordered break gave me time to think, and to, well, watch from the outside again. I had a lot of fun at the game last night. Kind of made me remember why I loved playing so much."  
  
"Good," Julie said, convinced that her friend was on his way to an answer to his crisis of faith. "So…will you be returning to us next week?"  
  
Adam wasn't sure what he would decide, so he didn't promise Julie anything. She didn't ask him to.  
  
  
  
A/N Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! V. V. encouraging! 


	8. "Confessions"

Chapter 8 "Confessions"  
  
Back in his dorm, Adam waved out the door as Amy drove away. He was glad she had convinced him to go to dinner. His talk with Scooter had really been helpful, but Julie was almost more so. She was the first Duck Adam had confessed his doubts to, and she wasn't disappointed or let down. This encouraged him greatly.  
  
`I'm going to talk to Charlie,' he thought to himself resolutely. `I'm going to talk to Charlie,' he repeated as he climbed the steps to his floor, as he walked the length of his hallway, as he stood in front of his door. "Talk to Charlie," he said out loud. "He will understand."  
  
Adam pushed open the door, and to his great dismay, Charlie was sprawled out on his bed, fast asleep. "You've got to be kidding me," Adam said softly.  
  
Charlie was bundled in sweat clothes and huddled under his blanket. Beside the bed was a half full trash can and a half empty box of tissues. He was breathing with some noisy difficulty and Adam figured that the "pesky cough" Charlie had complained about the night before had now expanded into a full blown cold.  
  
"Poor guy," Adam said under his breath. So much for talking to Charlie. Adam went over to his side of the room and tried to get ready for bed as quietly as possible. He was crawling into his bed, pulling the covers around him when the extremely loud and raucous strains of the Ramones filled the room. Adam shot up and heard a loud, heavy thump, followed by a stream of mumbled words that probably contained more explicatives than Adam would have liked to hear. He crossed the room in two long strides to see Charlie trying to pull himself out of a heap on the floor. From the looks of it, Charlie's alarm clock had gone off and he had fallen out of bed attempting to turn it off.  
  
"You alright, Charlie?" Adam asked, moving forward to help him up.  
  
Charlie tried to shake off assistance. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He crawled back on his bed, looking part angry, part humiliated.  
  
"What's wrong with your clock?" Adam asked. "Why'd your alarm go off?"  
  
"Cause I set it, you idiot," Charlie said indignantly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cause we need to talk, buddy." Charlie waved his finger at Adam threateningly, but was cut off by a violent sneeze.  
  
"Bless you," Adam said automatically.  
  
"Thanks." Charlie took a moment or two to recover, then looked back accusatively. "You're hiding something, Banks, I know you are. There's something you're not telling me, and it's something important. I set my alarm so I would get up when you got home from dinner and...tie you to a chair or something until you told me what the hell was going on."  
  
Adam pulled out Charlie's desk chair and said, "You're absolutely right."  
  
Charlie looked just a little surprised. "I am? I mean, of course I am. So spill it Banksie. What's up with you lately?"  
  
"Let me start by asking you something." Charlie nodded his consent and Adam continued. "Want do you want to do after high school?"  
  
"Go to college?" He said this like it was the obvious response.  
  
"And beyond that? What do you want to do with your life?"  
  
"Whoa, getting deep here," Charlie protested.  
  
"Just answer...try to answer the question. Please."  
  
Charlie didn't answer for a bit, but eventually started speaking again. "I don't really know. It's kinda hazy, to tell you the truth. I figure that's what college is for, you know. Figuring things out."  
  
"Good answer," Adam said. "Do you want to play in school?"  
  
"Hell, Banks, playing hockey's probably the only way I'll be able to pay for college, let alone get into a good one." Charlie laughed through his sudden coughing fit.  
  
"Don't sell yourself short, Charlie," was all Adam said at first. "Well, I've been thinking about the future a lot lately, or rather, hockey's place in it. You saw all those scouts that started showing up at our games. I started getting nervous, and worried for no reason really...and no one needs to feel that way."  
  
Charlie was beginning to see where Adam was going. "So, you're thinking you might not want to play in college? Is that what you're saying?"  
  
"Yes...and no. I don't know." Adam was silent for a while, deep in thought. "I think I was just scared that I was going to have to make some ultimate decision on the rest of my life, and I wasn't ready to do that. But, well you know Amy and I went out with Julie and Scooter, right?" Charlie nodded so he continued. "Scooter and I talked a bit, and he said something that made me feel a lot better about the whole thing."  
  
"What'd he say?" Charlie asked in between two grumbling coughs.  
  
"Something like, `you can always change your mind, change your life'. Really rings true, doesn't it? Just think about how much we've changed since we first met, especially me." Adam thought with a twang of remorse about the boy he used to be, mean and childish, before the Ducks came into his life. They had changed him, for the better.  
  
"No kidding," Charlie agreed. "Just think, you used to be a sniveling, bratty, good-for-nothing, snobbish..."  
  
"Thanks, Charlie, I get the picture," Adam cut in before Charlie could say another word. "You weren't so hot yourself, mind you. Bit of a wimpy, whiny, no talent coach's pet with a..."  
  
"Alright, Banksie, that's enough. We were both dorks. But who isn't at that age?" Charlie asked, laughing. "The important thing is that we're both pretty hot property now."  
  
Adam couldn't help laughing. "Well, I know I am, but I'm not so sure I'd say the same about you, Sniffles."  
  
Charlie tactfully ignored this latest dig. He finally got around to asking the question that had been nagging at the back of his mind, throughout the entire conversation. "Why didn't you talk to me about this before? I mean, we're all feeling something along the same lines right now. Didn't you trust us?"  
  
Adam lowered his head, unable to look his best friend in the eyes. Looking back, he should have talked to him and the other Ducks from the get go, but he had been so worried about upsetting them, he was forgetting why they were such good friends. If he had talked things over with Charlie or Julie before, he wouldn't have been fighting demons for the past several weeks. If he had talked to them, he might have been paying more attention that night driving home from dinner and been able to avoid the accident. If, if, if...  
  
"I'm sorry, Charlie," he said finally. "I didn't tell you, tell any of you, because I didn't want to let you down." Adam barreled forward before Charlie could say anything. "I was afraid if I told you I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep playing, you and the Ducks would think I was abandoning you or something. And that is the last thing in the world I wanted. The Ducks have meant so much to me, I couldn't risk messing that up." With nothing left to say, Adam looked back at Charlie, who was shaking his head in disbelief.  
  
"You really are an idiot, you know that right?"  
  
Adam nodded sheepishly.  
  
"You could never let us down, Adam, not after all you've done for us in the past. I mean, we're ducks, Adam. You know what that means." Charlie smiled at his friend.  
  
"Ducks fly together," they said in unison.  
  
_______________________  
  
A/N Short and corny, I know, but I've been blocked a bit, and this was the best I could do.  
  
Thanks for your reviews!!! 


	9. "Epilogue-Ducks Fly Together"

Chapter 9 "Epilogue-Ducks Fly Together"  
  
On Monday afternoon, Adam showed up for practice, eager and ready to go to work. He attacked the session's scrimmages with renewed energy and love for the game. His teammates thought nothing of his stunning display, finding only the return of the old Adam (except for Charlie and Julie, who alone knew the truth). And if Coach Orion noticed anything odd, he did not say anything in the presence of the entire team.  
  
"Great to have to you back, Banks," Guy said, slapping Adam on the left shoulder on his way out of the locker room.  
  
"Yeah," Russ commented. "Good thing you came back when you did, 'cause if you were away any longer, Cake Eater, you would have lost all your game."  
  
"Like you?" Adam joked.  
  
Russ feigned an insulted face. "I'm hurt, Adam…really hurt. You cut me deep, man."  
  
Over the laughter, Coach Orion's voice could be heard. "Adam, can I talk to you for a minute before you leave?"  
  
Adam looked up to find his coach standing at the door, and the expression on his face made it clear his was not a request, but a requirement. Adam nodded silently and gathered his practice bag. He followed his coach out of the locker room and back into the main rink. They climbed into the stands and took their seats halfway up.  
  
Adam was searching for something to say, but Orion broke the silence first. He cleared his throat, somewhat nervously, and asked, "Can I assume your crisis of faith is over?"  
  
Adam wondered at Orion's choice of words but nodded his head just the same. "I think you could say that. Not to say it won't flare up again in the future, but at least I know how to deal with it now."  
  
Orion leaned back, satisfied with Adam's answer. He had more or less guessed what had been bothering his star athlete, but had chosen to remain on the sidelines and let him work it out himself. And as much as he wanted to have faith in Adam, every day he had a terrible fear of finding Adam waiting in his office to announce he was quitting the team. Thankfully, that hadn't happened, and judging by his enthusiasm for practice that day, it wasn't going to ever happen.  
  
Orion hauled himself to his feet. "Glad to hear it, Banks," he said, before his tone turned serious again. "You're too good a player to give this up, and too good a person to be so conflicted."  
  
Adam looked down at his feet, sure that he was blushing or something equally stupid. No matter how many times it happened, he still wasn't used to that kind of praise. "Thanks," he said, softly, barely audible. When he looked up again, Orion was gone, and Adam was alone. He stared contemplatively down at the ice, etched and marked after the nearly two hour practice. He thought, for the first time in a long time, of the first time he played hockey with his brother, one on one, the local rink in Edina. He was five years old, not even tall enough to see over the boards. Even so, he was already a fairly good skater, having been blessed with preternatural balance. Staring intently at the Eden Hall ice, Adam could almost see his five-year-old self, carefully making his way around the rink, having no chance on Earth of beating his older brother, but just enjoying the opportunity to try. So caught up in his memory, Adam didn't notice Charlie racing up the steps to join him.  
  
"Good practice, eh?" Charlie asked, before seeing the serious, thoughtful face on his best friend. He immediately started to worry. "Something wrong, Banks? What did Coach say?"  
  
Adam shook his head, expelling his childhood recollections and standing up. "Nothing's wrong, Charlie. For the first time in a long time, nothing's wrong."  
  
Charlie smiled, knowing his friend was going to be just fine. And how could he not be, after all, with friends like the Ducks to back him up. He pulled at Adam's sleeve and said, "Well then, let's get going. Our ladies await." Rising from their seats, they made their way towards the exit, already mulling over plans for the weekend, business as usual.  
  
________________________  
  
A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry it took me soooo long to update. I've been exceptionally busy, midterms, etc, etc, etc, whatever, whatever. The real reason is, I suppose, that I was trying to figure out a way to end this fic, without realizing that I'd already ended it, conflict resolved, complete with denouement. But I felt that I definitely owed you something else, anything else, so here it is, the obligatory epilogue. Hope you like!  
  
A/N no. 2: I've been thinking about a sequel, one with a more Adam/Amy centric plot. Good idea? Bad idea? Moronically stupid idea? I'd love to hear what you have to say! 


End file.
